Most people neither want nor deserve to be saved

When I was living in New York, I would sometimes buy a six-pack of beers and head to central park. There, I would sit with homeless people asking them to share their stories with me. It was probably the best conversations I ever had. People that hit rock bottom, explaining how and why they failed in some things and how they view their new life today. I learned more from these people than I learned from hedge fund managers and academics. Thing is, almost all understood that they deserved to be where they are. In time, they owned their mistakes and admitted that they don’t want nor deserve to be saved.

Now, let’s fast forward to the present. About a year ago an unknown person, let’s call him Klitos, approached me. From the first few words he spouted out, I understood that I knew the type. It was much like the homeless people I met, but right before they reached the point of no return. People that are close to the black hole, but haven’t quite touched the event horizon (of no return). The profile of this type? Passionate with pop-psychology to basically treat and understand themselves, social phobias, old grudges with a person or group, liberal views, obsessive behavior and a deep feeling that the world has failed them. Klitos is a passionate follower, in every platform I was on. Created about 20 different profiles and pages in the span of the last few months and tried to learn everything about me. In 2 words. A Neurotic clusteruck. (I will refrain from using psychological terms because I don’t want to confuse you with bullshit pseudoscience.)

Specifically, Klitos was complaining that some old friend of his spread some rumors that he basically had to repeat a class in highschool and that this had awful consequences in his future career. One would wonder, why would this non-important event possibly affect his future if he was good at what he was doing, but again, we are talking about a certain “type” that needs an excuse to feel wronged.

For people like Klitos, It’s always a lame excuse. A parent, a friend, an old grudge. A singular event that supposedly destroyed their lives. Over the past 10 years, I’ve been approached by these kind people over and over again, asking for advice, information and the like in regards to how to improve their lives. And each time these people demonstrated with their stance that they deserve exactly what they are getting from life. As soon as I spend some time with them, providing them with advice about how to improve their lives, they cling like leeches. They want more and more and if you deny them anything, well, they turn against you. Probably exactly like what made them be in the position they are today.

I understand that I somehow owe much of what I have accomplished to the wisdom of those homeless guys. But, back in New York we were only able to have a conversation after they hit rock bottom. It wouldn’t be possible while they were caught up in their neurotic behavior. One would say that I am in fault here since I pay attention to people like these. But, the only reason I do try today to help some of them is because I also get messages from some of these people (about 1/50) that I helped them improve their lives and see things differently. After this last guy though, I am not going to be offering any advice (other than what I do professionally). Simply, not worth the hassle if one assumes the risks.

People like Klitos have other, deeper problems and try to tunnel them in every way they can to others. This is how anyone can become a possible target. They are more or less like clingy girlfriends with extremely bad baggage that they need to unload to the new boyfriend. They are usually closed in their rooms all day, rarely have any touch with the natural world, no girlfriend, have history with family problems and their lives are structured in fantasy. 

The moral of the story is that most people should be left to hit rock bottom. Destroy themselves in the process. If they survive then perhaps they do deserve another chance. Try to give them a helping hand though and they will bite you back in the ass. Spartans had the right idea. The cruelty of nature has the right idea.

People like them want more and more because they probably grew up spoiled and had everything ready on their feet. The moment the chain of supply breaks (whether food, money or attention) they demand even more. They can reach extremely neurotic levels because attention works much like a drug to them. They are in essence manchildren, stuck somewhere in the past, refusing to grow up and assume responsibilities. They think they can fuck around with no consequences, not understanding that at some point they will poke the wrong hole and something is going to bite them back in the ass.

For once again, I am fairly convinced after talking to about 30-35 of these people over the past 10 years that people do not change. They can come to an understanding about who they are but only when they reach rock bottom like the homeless guys I met. Humans always operate on the same loops but with different variations and themes. They think they change because the information they absorb changes. In reality, the same core identity remains while only the clothing changes.

9 thoughts on “Most people neither want nor deserve to be saved

  1. Hello,
    do you give professional advice? I love your articles but I can’t find out what you do

    Kind Regards

    Pan

      1. Sorry my question wasn’t clear. You mention in the essay above that after Klitos you will not be giving any advice for free other than what you do professionally and I am interested to find out what you do professionally. Is it some kind of life coaching?

          1. Because I might be interested. You seem to have good insight in Economics and I like the general attitude. You mention that you give advice professionally, and I’m interested to know if I can use any of your services, but I’m going to have to know what are those services… Isn’t that the purpose of your website?

          2. Anyway, I think you have my email address, if you would like to let me know more send me an email

          3. Use the contact form and send me an email first with some private information. Name, company, assets interested, reasons etc. I am not a financial advisor nor a “life coach”.

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